Most weeks, Saturday nights are spent at 12 step meetings.To be clear, no professional would ever recommend dating in early recovery.Oftentimes people in recovery are apprehensive about revealing their sobriety for fear of judgment.Facing uncharted dating territory without your usual liquid courage can increase your risk for relapse.Thirteenth stepping is a predatory practice that is shaped within a background of systemic sexism.Living in a culture where men are accorded enormous authority about virtually everything, is it any surprise that many women who are early in their sobriety or struggling with relapse would look to men as experts or guides? AA is not the Masons where, outside of gatherings, you keep in touch with code words or secret handshakes and conspiratorial ‘assistance’. AA lives by the distilled wisdom contained in the proverb, motto, and slogan – not ‘theory’. and Dr Bob, founded AA in Akron, Ohio, in the 1930s, when even to have stopped drinking was shameful – evidence of past ‘moral weakness’. The Serenity Prayer Few have heard it before they first attend an AA meeting, but once it's in your life it never leaves.
To that, I say a commonly used term recovery: it’s progress not perfection.
Regardless of how I focused on my own program of recovery, I felt there was a huge void with warding off new romantic relationships for an entire year.
I fully understood why this rule was so heavily enforced.
The place where, as the joke goes, they won’t even let Swiss born Roger Federer join the tennis club. Sharing is not conversation One of the first things newcomers have to learn is that ‘cross-talk’ – meaning dialogue, talking ‘to’ others in the group, during a meeting – is a no-no. The others listen, carefully reflecting on your spilt entrails, like Roman soothsayers. Dialogue leads to argument and argument, before you know it, leads to quarrels. For newcomers they’re coloured leather (or its imitation). It’s flown away, I like to think, to help others embarking on a life without what they thought they couldn’t live without. AA is not, oddly, all that focused on alcohol Only the first of the 12 steps (the admission that you can’t control the stuff, or yourself when you’re drinking) touches on it. I’ve been to meetings at universities where the IQ is stratospheric.
At AA-Gstaad it was espresso coffee and Lindt chocolates to help the millionaires on their path to ‘recovering’. They do not respond (other than with a formal ‘thank you, John, for a wonderful share’, or whatever). Others where there’s a guy just out of prison sitting on one side of you and someone who really ought to be there on the other.