In fact in surveys that ask adulterers whether they want to leave their marriages, the majority say no.Her book, still very much a work in progress, will be about “people who love each other and are having affairs,” she says, and what that paradox says about the rest of our marriages. The way a regular person tells everything about themselves on television.Long before JFK and Bill Clinton, America’s presidents had a long tradition of having a little something on the side.It seems that a secret lover is an American pastime right up there with apple pie. Eisenhower is considered one of America’s most successful military leaders, serving as Supreme Commander of the Allied invasion of Europe during World War II.When the war ended, Ike sent a formal request to his superior officer, General Marshall, to be relieved of duty so he could divorce Mamie and marry Kay.An outraged Marshall refused, promising to force Eisenhower out of the army and ruin his life should the divorce happen.
But the tight, companionable, totally merged nature of the modern marriage is one of the factors pushing people in happy marriages to have affairs, according to therapist Esther Perel.
In my work with couples, the fact that this was only an emotional affair makes no difference.
The intimacy in your marriage has still been betrayed, and you will go through all of the things any person healing from a sexual betrayal will feel.
I can’t talk about this with him, with my family or with friends. How do I approach the fact that my spouse won’t discuss the affair? I call him many times a day, not because I want to, but to check on him. Answer: All your feelings are normal for someone who has been betrayed.
It is not adequate for your husband to say he is sorry, and it won’t happen again.